The UPSC interview schedule ended on April 25. News from reliable sources said that results can be expected on 27th April.

My parents work in a city called Tirunelveli which is 600 kms from Chennai. Though my UPSC interview didn’t go well, I had the belief that I will make it to the list somehow. So I had asked them to be in Chennai by 27th morning.

Waiting for results is the most difficult task in life because everyone around you is eagerly waiting for the moment and something negative can dishearten you so much. You tend to remember all the questions you couldn't write well in the mains and the questions you couldn't answer in the interview, all in a flash.

UPSC results can either take you to new heights or it can take precious youthful years away from you. Plus the server started to choke with so many people logging in at the same time. I was able to hear my heart throb against my ribs like drumsticks on the drum membrane. I got news that the results will be out by 5PM but it did not. The results were declared at 7 o'clock in the evening and I cannot explain to you those two hours of my life.

Finally the link appeared, and I clicked on it to download the PDF containing the result. My fingers had gone numb. The PDF opened after downloading and started scrolling down skipping the literature and result details.

The names started appearing, it was then that it struck me to search for my roll number and as I typed in my numbers I was getting a sinking feeling. Pressed the search button and BAM it appeared, highlighted in blue, looked slightly left and my name was all there with correct spelling. It felt like an illusion, like one of the dreams I used to have during preparation. I immediately took a screenshot with shaky hands as I was afraid that all this will vanish the next instant. As I had anticipated, the screen blurred out as my eyes filled with tears.

Everything seemed to have gone on auto mode, I felt I had completely lost control over myself and my surroundings. My mom kissed my forehead and my father hugged me but I was all numb and did not know how to respond.

When you think about something day in and day out and it finally arrives you suddenly don’t know what to do. I was in disbelief till my uncle called me and a few close friends who had checked my name in the list. The celebration had begun and above all a big sigh of relief as I was now free from the cycle of birth and rebirth (read as prelims mains and interview).

Well one more thing, in my excitement I didnt even check my rank which I later got to know from my friends as finding my name in the list itself was more than enough for me

When Our beloved former President Mr.Abdul Kalam was asked to recite his favourite Thirukural , He said this

எண்ணித் துணிக கருமம் துணிந்தபின் எண்ணுவம் என்பது இழுக்கு

Consider, and then undertake a matter; after having undertaken it, being in a dilemma is a folly

The same applies for choosing optional subjects too. Your firm decision making ability is put to test here and any half hearted decision in choosing the Optional subject might consume a lot of time and effort. But that time and effort, if appropriately put, can save you from regret and disappointment later. The weightage of optional subjects is approximately 30% of the total Mains marks and it can play a major role in deciding your selection in the final list. Thus it is advisable that the aspirants who wish to take Tamil Literature as an optional go through the merits and demerits before stepping in.

MERITS

• Limited syllabus - so can be completed comfortably within 4 months
• Requires minimal current affairs updation which saves you a lot of time
• Relieves you from stress amidst the hectic study and test schedules ( provided you love reading Tamil).
• Maximum of 120 people writing mains with this optional. Not a big crowd when you compare with other commonly chosen optionals like Political science, Geography , History , Anthropology ,etc. Scope to stand out from competitors with decent hardwork
• Flow of thoughts become easy when you start writing in your mother tongue. Since every paper in Mains demands you to write quality answers in a short span of time , flow of thoughts and organised presentation is vital to score marks. It can help you in GS papers and essay

DEMERITS

• Requires you to memorise ‘sangam’ age songs, thirukural and much more. So frequent revision is required
• Unlike other optionals , literature mandates you to have a good command over the language. Thus in addition to providing factual accuracy and analysis, literary exposition is needed.
• The syllabus of Tamil literature does not overlap with general studies. In very few cases you may use some translated version of ancient couplets in essays and ethics.
• The highest scores in Tamil literature has been ranging from 270-290, while some other optional high scores are well above 330. This means your optional marks alone cannot help you cross mains. You need to be equally good in General Studies too.

Despite the above demerits , if you have decided to proceed with Tamil Literature I hope this Thirukural can be your guiding light

கலங்காது கண்ட வினைக்கண் துளங்காது தூக்கங் கடிந்து செயல்

An act that has been firmly resolved must be as firmly carried out without delay.

I had always wondered what a normal day is like in a movie stars life. I used to think how could a person ever handle so many calls and messages everyday. But I didn't know that someone somewhere was noting my thoughts down to give me a feel of it. I can never forget the evening of the 27th day of April when someone controlling the servers of the Union Public Service Commission(UPSC) clicked on the "Post CSE 2017 Results" button and there was an explosion some 2200 kms down south and I am more than elated to say that it was my house. Blown up by the joyous wishes, heartfelt compliments and unpredicted adulations.....

I'd take this opportunity to take each one of you who is on-board in FLASHBACK….

Rewind to 16th September 2016.

UPSC announces prelims results. All excited and eager with pulses of fear beating, I opened the PDF and searched for my roll number. "No record found" popped on the screen. I searched again, "No result found". I asked my brother to search, but in vain. I did not let a single drop of tears flow out of my obedient eyes as I was afraid I would trigger a chain reaction of tears from each of the eyes eager to see my roll number in the list.

I went straight to my room, locked myself up, buried my face in the pillow and let the magma erupt off my eyes. I was restless all night. Months of hard work and patience all disappeared from underneath my feet like thin air. I started cursing myself for not joining TCS and I was convinced that my dream to become an IAS officer was too ambitious to come true. I came out of my room in the morning with a calm look on my face. Having breakfast with my parents who were leaving for their work place a few kilometres from Chennai, there was a scary silence in my house. My mother and father tried alleviating my mood but it was of no avail.

It was in the evening that some close friends came to my house and despite my disagreement took me out (this was going to be a game changing outing for me). They said we were going to meet a few senior aspirants at Anna University. We went to the main field in the campus and I got introduced to 4 people who were sitting there on the stairs. The talk began.

Of the four of them three had cleared the exam while one could not. They could see on my face that I was not interested and hence they started asking me about my preparation and aspirations. I began reluctantly and told them how I had been preparing and how much effort I had put in and that I had given up my job at TCS for this and still couldn’t clear. The person in front didn’t show a bit of sympathy to me or my story, instead he said ‘SO? That’s something everyone does?’ All my agony and dismay suddenly seemed trivial to me. I hadn’t done anything which the rest of the aspirants had not done. The other guy asked me what was troubling me more, the fact that I couldn’t clear the exam or the fact that my preparation was not up to the mark. I immediately understood what he was trying to imply.

I came back home thinking about the mistakes I had done as regards to this examination and if I should go ahead with this career option or not. With much discussions and deliberations in my upper house (head) I decided that I will go to Delhi and join the best institute there and write the next year’s exam with better preparation. And so I did.

This was the first time I was travelling to the northern part of the country and especially the capital of our country. I was excited. The next moment I found myself sitting at the back of a broker’s bike scanning the streets of Old Rajinder Nagar (ORN) for a room. (For those of you who don’t know - clearing the Civil Services Exam is easier than getting a room in your budget in ORN). After hours of treasure hunt I ended up in a room which was technically not a room but a kitchen (yes you heard it right). Nevertheless I arranged my stuff and settled down. I went out to buy some supplies but came back disappointed, I felt like an alien, as I did not know Hindi and was afraid of getting lost as all the lanes looked the same to me.

I knocked on the door next to my room and explained my predicaments to the guy who answered. He said he was leaving for the library and would help me when he comes back in the evening. I sat in the kitchen room all day and kept questioning myself for the decision to come to Delhi. I also called my father to book my return ticket exactly two months from that day, so that I could give myself ample time to experience and make a decision. The guy came back in the evening and asked me to get ready which I already had since morning and he took me out. He bought me every single thing that I would require and helped me make my room. The next day he showed me around and made me feel comfortable in this alien land. I started going for tests and interacting with people whenever I got a chance. I started to understand why I had failed in the prelims. I was like an ‘insignificant dot’ in the sea of people who leave no stone unturned to clear this exam. It was like an unending race.

There were prelims BABAs (people who had been clearing prelims for 4 times in a row), I met people who had been giving interviews every year since they started writing the exam and then people who had already cleared but did not get a service of their choice, all alike. I used to question myself every now and then whether I stood a chance in this cut throat competition and whether I was good enough to ever qualify? I carried on with the flow. Aspirants in Old Rajidner Nagar are like zombies and with each passing day I was becoming one myself. I had a chance to see for myself a typical day in the life of an aspirant in ORN, waking up in the morning getting ready for class while marking important articles to be read in The Hindu, eating breakfast (popular poha or aloo paratha) on the way, finishing off with the pre marked articles in the queue to get front seats in the class of 400, taking notes like a stenographer, laughing in chorus at the jokes of the teacher and heading back home to get ready for another shift of study at the library (reading rooms with AC), tea break at the coffee square and back to the room with dinner packet in hand, customary call to parents back home, lying that the food is awesome so that mothers have one less reason to worry and going off to sleep.

But I never got the ticket cancelled and finally two months got over and I started packing my things to head back home as planned on day one. I had come very close to my flatmates but I didn’t budge when they tried to convince me to stay back. As a farewell they took me out to show around Delhi and finally to the ending point of the Aravali’s, The Raisina Hill. I got goosebumps seeing the President house right in front of me and the India Gate behind me with the north and south block on each side. Standing in front of the President house facing the DoPT office we made a promise that we’ll enter the seat of power with pride by making it to the list and have dinner with the President of India one day. I left for Chennai.

My parents were happy to see me back and without much ado I set up my room and continued with my preparation. My friends used to come in the evenings and we usually used to hang out in the main field of Anna University. One fine day I met one of those four aspirants whom I had interacted with just after failing in my 1st prelims. He was the one who hadn’t cleared prelims that year out of the 4 people. I asked about the rest of the people and he told me they were preparing for the mains which were only a few days ahead.

He asked me about my experience in Delhi and about my plans of going back. I told him that I was not going back to Delhi. He had a smile on his face as he was listening to what I was saying to him. He told me that he could have stopped me from going to Delhi back then itself but he didn’t because he wanted me to experience the world of UPSC in person. He said further that it's not the amount of labour or the number of hours or the place that will ensure your selection in this exam. The only thing that can make you successful in the exam is how badly you want to see your name in the list. That’s where the difference will be as there will be much more laborious, intelligent and resourceful people running in this race than you can ever imagine to be. Everything that he said that day transpired into the roots of my brain.

That was one of the final turning points (as there are quite a few) in my struggle to come out victorious. Whenever I used to feel low I would reach out to this person and his group, each one of them being highly motivated and highly positive in attitude which had a remarkable influence over me. I did not let negativity come close to me.

One’s preparation cannot be the same everyday but keeping oneself motivated is the key for this examination. You have to be unrealistic at times to reach where you plan to and I made sure that my desire for becoming an IAS officer is consistently greater than anybody else’s in the world. After my first failure I made serious changes in my thought process. I learnt the art of failing better and staying immensely positive from this bunch of guys at Anna University who are now making wonders by guiding and motivating aspirants like me all across .

…..Coming back to the present day when the failures are at bay (wow! That rhymed)

Today when I remember the promise I had made to myself and my friends in Delhi standing at the Raisina Hill I pinch myself in disbelief. Competing with one of the best brains, more experienced and hardworking people from across the country and getting a double digit rank at this early age being an average student throughout is an example of achieving an unrealistic dream. I sometimes feel that the rank list of successful candidates prepared by the UPSC every year actually reflects the desire one has to see his/her name in the list and I am 71st in that list.

The messages pouring in and so many friend requests, TV interviews and what not makes me feel good but above all the joy I see in the eyes of my parents makes me feel like a super star.

If you do not know this yet, I would take this opportunity to establish that UPSC is not for the faint hearted but I can assure you that this is one of the most beautiful journey one can ever take in a lifetime irrespective of the outcome, as getting your name in the list is but a small part of the entire process of your evolution.

Last but not the least I would like to say that my success is a representation of the collective efforts of so many people at different stages of my preparation. Especially the four people sitting on the benches of the field in Anna University campus whose valued and life changing guidance changed my perception towards this examination in particular and challenges in general.

I hope several ignorant but determined aspirants like I was a few months back would benefit from the useful blogs of these mentors just as they have nurtured me.

If you are still confused about taking the CSE UPSC, I urge you to take the jump and see your life change once and for all.

Making notes from the Hindu is highly recommended. But simply copying news from the paper on a daily basis and accumulating thick registers full of news is a useless exercise according to me. I’ll tell you how to do it more smartly and effectively.

News papers are not published for UPSC aspirants therefore they contain vast amounts of random information good for the general public. So its important that you memorize the entire syllabus for prelims and mains for each paper before proceeding with notes from the news paper.

For prelims , note down the important facts which may be asked in Science and technology , environment , International organisations ,etc The most effective way of making notes for current affairs will be to divide the notebook in different parts, GS Paper 1, paper 2 paper 3 paper 4 and so on. Whatever new information one encounters from the news paper related to a particular topic should be immediately noted down. This way the notes will be automatically organised paperwise. And it’ll become very easy to refer, revise and update later on. The information gathered over time can be used as examples and illustrations in the Essay paper also.

In this video below , I have explained the note making strategy for prelims as well as mains using my own notes as an example. I hope it helps.

For mains there is only one foolproof strategy-It is Answer Writing Practice. Only when you’ll write answers will you get to know how well you can put the information, you’ve been cramming in your little head all this while, on paper for the examiner to judge you. The more you’ll write the better you’ll get with each passing day.

There is one question you should ask yourself while checking your answers, will the examiner enjoy reading my answer script? Will he be ready to forgo any silly spelling or grammatical error that you might commit in haste because the quality of your answer is so good? The flow of information, presentation, clarity of opinion and your ability to correlate will decide your fate in the merit list.

Highlighting important points in your answer by underlining, giving live examples and if need be making flowcharts and diagrams can be a few of the many efforts by which one can lure miserest of examiners to give you good marks.Try to maintain a constant speed and a legible handwriting throughout the examination.

Getting the interview call was itself a great joy and I made up my mind that this has to be my last attempt. I haven’t had any experience of facing interviews except for the placement interview in college.

Before the Interview

Though I had 60 days to prepare , I was full of doubts about how I would face the interview board. I was scared of facing and being judged by people most of whom’s minimum years of experience would be greater than my age itself.

During the course of 2 months, I got appointments to meet civil servants who gave me inputs of what the board actually expects from the candidates. I had given 6 mock interviews, feedback was mostly positive and I was pretty confident.

I booked the flight tickets well in advance. It was my first flight ever and when the pilot announced that we were cruising at 34000 feet, I did not care much as I was flying several times higher than that dreaming about my final results.

I had reached Delhi 2 days prior to the interview so that I get used to the weather and other stuff. My plans to revise all the notes in these 2 days went in vain because I was nervous after hearing the experience of candidates who had just given their interviews.

On the day of the Interview

I had a good night’s sleep and woke up with all positive vibes. I was not able to decide what to wear, suit or just a white shirt. I dropped the idea of wearing the suit and started for UPSC.

Candidates were taking pictures outside the UPSC building and finally they let us in at 9:00. 30 candidates for the morning session and the list said I was the last person on my board. Waiting for 4 hours before going in made me tired and anxious. I was called in at 1:05 PM.

The board chairman started with a factual question :
What is the function of mercury in electronic circuits? ( My graduation being ECE) .
Sorry Sir, I don't know.
Why is silver used in electronic circuits?
Sorry Sir I cannot remember.
It was not a good start and the Chairman’s dismayed look made me sad. Questions from other members were also mostly factual. I tried to maintain a smiling face - the only thing I could do at that situation. I gave decent answers to some opinion based questions like Is the USA a reliable partner? How to improve relationships with Gulf countries?
The interview was over in just 20 minutes and I was not at all satisfied with the way it happened. I walked out of UPSC, rushed to my room and buried myself in bed. I could feel disappointment filling me. Will all the hard work of 2 years go in vain? I kept asking myself this question. But I had to pick myself up and roamed around Delhi for the next 2 days before flying back to Chennai, this time at a much lower altitude than what the pilot announced.

After the Interview

I was asked by my seniors to immediately start preparing for the next Prelims as UPSC is always uncertain. I made up my mind that I will not touch the books whatever be the results. Deciding to remain positive I spent my time seeing good movies,visiting friends and hanging out.

I knew that interview did not go as expected and what had happened was out of my control. So I stopped worrying and motivated myself by remembering Will Smith’s quote “Being Realistic is the most common path to mediocrity” . I had to keep the reality at bay and make myself believe that I had already cleared the civil services exam with a good rank.

The results turned out to be positive and I had finally made it into IAS.

It was indeed not a very good interview experience , but these 3 months have made me realise the truth behind Thiruvalluvar’s saying “Development will drive itself to those who have unshakable motivation”.

Essay paper in UPSC is like an elevator button. This is the only chance in the entire exam process where the candidate is the king of his choice.With four options at your disposal for each of the two essays that you’re required to write, you can either soar to the peak or ebb away to oblivion.

I have always had self doubts about handling this paper as I was never good at writing essays and my vocabulary was average too, modestly speaking.

When prelims got over , there were exactly 120 days for mains. And before that I had not even written one essay. Just like every other aspirant, it became clear to me that ESSAY,ETHICS and OPTIONALS were the game changers of the examination as there is no denying the fact that GENERAL STUDIES is an unpredictable beast, difficult to tame.

The marks trend of my optional paper (Tamil Literature) in the past 5 years was not encouraging. It hovered around an average of 260-270. So it became evident that I have no other option but to strengthen my score in essay and ethics.

I got inputs from senior aspirants at Anna University on dealing with this essay paper and started going through previous years’ question papers. Check out the Analysis of previous year papers here -

1. Preparing unique notes for each topic

Broadly the essay questions can be segregated into the following topics

• Education – Recent issues like NEET, NEXT, etc
• Women empowerment – Gender equality, recent issues like metoo, beti bachao, women contribution in Tokyo Olympics,etc
• Polity based - Democracy, Federalism , current issues like Taliban attack in afghanistan, CPIC , OBOR, etc
• Environment - Agriculture , Sustainable development, Climate change threats ,
• Science and Technology – like Corona Pandemic , cryptocurrencies, etc
• Economy based - growth , development , capitalism,socialism, current issues based
• International organisations - the disputes going on , their relevance , their utility
• Philosophical topics - quotes and sayings

I prepared notes for each of the topics(Hardly 4 pages) which comprised of

• Quotes related to the topic
• Illustrations, stories and real time examples that could add value to essay
• Catchy intro and conclusion lines
• Facts and figures that add legitimacy to the content (possibly from reports of international organisations , government organisations)
• Eye catchy Subheadings

2. Improving vocabulary

Since an essay is a long piece of writing, it is very essential to keep the examiner engaged in your paper by kindling his interest so that the tempo of your writing finally gets converted into marks. To do that, good vocabulary is essential. It ensures you that your arguments are to the point and assures to the examiner that you are not beating around the bush.

For example : If you are writing an essay on poverty , you might be expected to use words like :

• Vicious circle
• Multidimensional poverty, crippling poverty
• Bread and butter
• Subsistence
• Perpetrate
• Materialism, consumerism
• Gravest crime
• Perils of poverty
• Alleviation, Eradication
• Sarvodya, Vasudeva Kutumbakam

This exercise may seem so trivial , but when followed can add immense value to your essay.

Writing the essay :

Beginning the essay with an eye catching illustration

I started the essay with an example, an inhumane incident that happened in Karnataka which was all across the news last year – A man hit by a vehicle was bleeding and begging the bystanders for help while the bystanders kept on clicking pictures and taking videos to be uploaded on social media.

Social media originated to give people a platform to connect, traversing geographical boundaries, race, religion, language etc. But it is to be lamented that it’s making people selfish, hungry for fame and above all disconnecting people from basic principles of humanity

Why is social media selfish?

Developing and promoting materialistic tendencies like - uploading photos of anything and everything in one’s possession, travelling solely for the purpose of ‘check ins’ and ‘ photo uploads’ and deriving contentment by making others envious - Unnecessary status updates- such as ‘Love my new OnePlus 5t’, Check ins - such as ‘enjoying Pizza at Dominos Facebook, Instagram etc - a craze among youngsters. Drives people to show off their possessions and spendings.

Misuse by political parties - mass scale propaganda by creating catchy memes - destroying the democracy by engineering ideas and ideology into the minds of voters - making the powerful much more powerful - US election example

Data theft by internet giants - tracking user behaviors and presenting information as per one’s taste like advertisements, news and content suggestions based on users search choices- google displaying its own products in search results (selfish growth)

So overall it’s making the entire world a marketplace where everyone is competing with everyone.

Is it really selfish? Instances which proved that social media is selfless

However there is another side to it. Social media being used for bringing about huge societal changes. Recent ‘Me Too’ campaign was an eye opener to the injustice happening with our women by providing them a platform to open up.

Used by youngsters and social activists during the time of Chennai floods to reach out to the needy - saved many lives with the help of instant alerts over wide areas.

Many non profit organisations gather help for education and health using social media - investigative journalism and its reach has strengthened after the arrival of social media .

It has made the common man more knowledgeable . Writings and questions of the common man are getting discussed and deliberated, leading to a more informed citizenry.

Thus beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Our purview decides whether it is selfish or not.

What can be done to make it a selfless media?

Responsibility of internet giants - to make users data safe

International agency to check the spread of fake news via this medium since people of varied knowledge base are exposed Active participation of intellectuals

Basic education about social media - its pros and cons to school children

Tool for change

Social media is just like fire - it can be used to cook food - it can even be used to burn down everything. Thus it is we who should take charge and decide its ultimate utility.

Conclusion

I came across the phrase “Men have become the tools of their tools.” - Henry David Thoreau.

Man should always be the master and never let its tools gain control over him. Though it looks selfish now, it can be used as the most selfless weapon.